Sunday, October 31, 2010

Nu Metro new release: Piranha 3D

Director Alexander Aja clearly kept four crucial elements in mind as he was making Piranha 3D: Boobs, Piranhas, mutilated human flesh and more boobs. And while this might sound like the recipe for a disastrously corny, cheesy film, it all comes together surprisingly well.

Aja's previous work, includes some horrible misses (Mirrors) as well as some terrifically disturbing hits (The Hills have eyes). Piranha 3D joins his list of successes, mainly due to the movie's total lack of pretence - Piranha 3D utilises its simple, unimaginative premise (a thought-to-be extinct species of killer piranhas treat  themselves to a beefy buffet of drunk teens on Spring break) to the full extent, resulting in a superficial horrorfest with just the right amount of awesome scares and intensely gory scenes of Piranha-induced carnage.

The movie's 3D effects may be some of the best I've had the honour of experiencing (for a horror film), as it is used sparingly but effectively to heighten the movie's most visually impressive and frightening moments.The fishy villains come over as terrifyingly viscous and unforgiving, giving the movie a wonderful sense of aqueous dread (rivalling the sense of dread in 'Jaws') that doesn't let go until the final victim meets his pitiful end at the 'hands' of these clever monsters.


 "...a superficial horrorfest with just the right amount of awesome scares and intensely gory scenes of Piranha-induced carnage."


Special mention must also be awarded to the movie's amazing cinematography (especially the underwater scenes) that contributes to the building of a thick layer of tension, as viewers are constantly clueless in regards to who will be fish food next.

The familiar ensemble cast (with only a few unknowns and two actual porn stars) play their victim roles convincingly, with Jerry O'Connell (Tom Cats, Body shots) serving for most of the comedic relief as an asshole porn director and Elisabeth Shue (Hollow man, Hide and Seek) as the protective supermom who does everything in her power to prevent her family from being eaten by aquatic carnivores. The film's actual protagonist (Steven McQueen) is so unsure of himself that he quickly fades into the scenery, giving one more time to enjoy all the horrific goriness and screams of agony from the rest of the cast.

Piranha 3D doesn't set any new ground or deliver any mentionable insights - it instead settles for great entertainment value that will leave you reconsidering your December holiday plans...

Highlight: 1. Spring break gets interrupted by the fishy fiends when hundreds of irresponsible teens get gorged, mainly due to their inability to heed the warnings of the coastal police force. 2. The movie's two adult entertainment stars shoot a tantalizing underwater 'mermaid' scene, totally ignorant of the impending doom heading their way.

See this as payback for being such an asshole to Dam Humphrey! xoxo


Rating: 4 Meerkat Tails